Phantom voltage

A sequel to the last post.

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Local news article from the ‘Folly Daily News’

Saturday, 16 October 198—

Phantom Voltage

Intermittent Electricity recently faced a claim that a shadowy black figure was responsible for Edgar Thrice-Spookʼs 1,236.15 FDr electricity bill. The spectral figure had allegedly turned on the lights and equipment for hours at a time. It also used Mr Thrice-Spookʼs top-of-the-line paper shredder to shred telephone directories, private correspondence and bills at his house in District Y. 

The case is being investigated by the renowned Third Eye Phumblers Detective Agency on behalf of Intermittent Electricity.

Blackmail and extortion

Local news article from the ‘Folly Times’

Thursday, 30 September 198—

Snail terrorises garden for years

A family has taken Dinky, its pet snail, to court accusing it of leaving threatening voicemails and engaging in acts of environmental terrorism in their garden.

Dinky, which was acquired by the Diagram family two years ago, was initially kept in an exclusive and carefully constructed area within their perfectly diagrammatic garden. However, not content in its flawlessly delineated patch, Dinky hatched grandiose ideas to extend its dominion over the entire garden. It began waging a systematic campaign of terror not only on the Diagrams but also on the rest of the plant and animal life of the garden. Blackmail, intimidation and extortion were used in order to subdue and oppress the various resident worms, caterpillars, and mice as well as passing guests such as robins, bees, butterflies and grasshoppers. Extensive modifications of the statistical graphics, maps and technical illustrations within the garden as well as sabotage of equipment, such as saturating the garden shears with foul-smelling mucus, were undertaken in order to confuse the Diagram family, and render the garden inaccessible to them. Finally, Dinky resorted to leaving threatening messages on the Diagrams’ voicemail. ‘We got particularly scared when Dinky began threatening us with the destruction of our arbor trellis if we didn’t get out of the house’, said Mr. Herbert Diagram.

The local court is currently investigating the case. If charged, Dinky faces 10 counts of psychological warfare against nature and 17 counts of garden terrorism.

'Listen to Slayer'

From the Sunday Folly Herald

Sunday, 3 May 19—

Slayer advice

A man claims that he was visited by his recently deceased relative. Stunt Double’s favourite aunt, Griselda Phlox, died peacefully in her sleep a couple of weeks ago. 

Mr. Double, a former acrobat who is now working as a flying doctor for ‘Flying Doctors Emergencies’ in the Random Plains area, District B, says that Mrs. Phlox visited him in his bedroom on the night of 28 April to reassure him that she was ‘just peachy’. She appeared out of the blue, just as Mr. Double was getting ready for bed, and looked especially euphoric. 

Mr. Double says that he was not particularly scared by this nocturnal visit, only surprised. However, he was rather puzzled by his aunt’s parting words: ‘Stunt, listen to Slayer’. Mr. Double is unable to account for this eccentric piece of advice.